Today I'm thinking about what skills I possess? What thing makes me stand out or do I excel? Ok, let's break this down. I didn't inherit my mom's artsy fartsy skills. That woman can sew, paint, design, cook, decorate, make, grow anything and throw together stuff and make it look good. Takes me back to when I was a youngster and mom decided to throw all her spare time into Macrame. We had macrame hanging plant holders everywhere. You couldn't walk outside on the porch without side-swiping a plant holder. She made a decorative 4-tier hanging shelf system for my bedroom. The macrame shorts and matching vest felt like you were wearing a cheese grater, but they were made out of love. (kidding mommy dearest) (macrame clothes are comparable to wearing a pair of Sears Tough Skin jeans.) The woman has mad skills. Now take my dad, he can build anything! He can fix anything and if he doesn't know how to fix it, he will figure it out. Again, great skills! So what the heck happen to me? I've been banned from every owning a house plant by "Save The Plants from Susan Society." I can barely sew on a button without poking at least 3 fingers in the process. After I'm done, looks like I was attacked by a diabetic glucose meter checker thingy. And my cooking skills? One of my favorite meals is a can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and crumbled turkey burger (yes fried). My list of skills aren't looking to impressive right now. But.... I've come up with a list of skills that I know will impress. (1) my ability to change the words to popular songs which often drives my daughter crazy. (2) my ability not to drop a cuss word when I get a paper cut. (example: Mother Trucker, Son of A Biscuit Eater) is what I blurted out after being attacked by a business card. (3) my exceptional dance moves. I invented my own dance move, "the spankler" a mix of a spanking motion with a sprinkler (rainbird) motion. and (4) my ability to laugh at myself. I have a great life peoples! Call me Happy Von Schnauzer. It's Friday EVE!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Bow Hunting Skills, Numb Chuck Skills
Today I'm thinking about what skills I possess? What thing makes me stand out or do I excel? Ok, let's break this down. I didn't inherit my mom's artsy fartsy skills. That woman can sew, paint, design, cook, decorate, make, grow anything and throw together stuff and make it look good. Takes me back to when I was a youngster and mom decided to throw all her spare time into Macrame. We had macrame hanging plant holders everywhere. You couldn't walk outside on the porch without side-swiping a plant holder. She made a decorative 4-tier hanging shelf system for my bedroom. The macrame shorts and matching vest felt like you were wearing a cheese grater, but they were made out of love. (kidding mommy dearest) (macrame clothes are comparable to wearing a pair of Sears Tough Skin jeans.) The woman has mad skills. Now take my dad, he can build anything! He can fix anything and if he doesn't know how to fix it, he will figure it out. Again, great skills! So what the heck happen to me? I've been banned from every owning a house plant by "Save The Plants from Susan Society." I can barely sew on a button without poking at least 3 fingers in the process. After I'm done, looks like I was attacked by a diabetic glucose meter checker thingy. And my cooking skills? One of my favorite meals is a can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and crumbled turkey burger (yes fried). My list of skills aren't looking to impressive right now. But.... I've come up with a list of skills that I know will impress. (1) my ability to change the words to popular songs which often drives my daughter crazy. (2) my ability not to drop a cuss word when I get a paper cut. (example: Mother Trucker, Son of A Biscuit Eater) is what I blurted out after being attacked by a business card. (3) my exceptional dance moves. I invented my own dance move, "the spankler" a mix of a spanking motion with a sprinkler (rainbird) motion. and (4) my ability to laugh at myself. I have a great life peoples! Call me Happy Von Schnauzer. It's Friday EVE!
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my mom says sone of a biscuit eater all the time. too funny.
ReplyDeleteyou forgot:
(5) out wit any guy or gal i know, especially when the topic is that of a naughty nature ;)